THE REAL REASONS YOU’RE CRAVING CHOCOLATE, CHIPS, COFFEE OR WINE IN PERIMENOPAUSE

It’s 3:17pm. You’re staring into the pantry like it might whisper the secret to your sanity. You just need something — a square of chocolate, the leftover Easter bunny ear, a handful of chips, or maybe just a big, hot coffee. Or wine (except, it’s probably frowned upon at school pick-up).

Sound familiar?

Afternoon cravings can feel like they hit out of nowhere, especially in perimenopause. You might have eaten a 'healthy' lunch. You might even be trying to "cut back" or "be good."

But here you are again, fighting the same pull toward whatever gives you a hit of pleasure, peace, or energy. And then, the guilt creeps in.

Let’s stop that spiral right here.

This isn’t about willpower (or a lack of it). This is about your hormones, blood sugar, neurotransmitters, and your brain’s built-in survival systems that are being tipped off-kilter even more in perimenopause.

Let’s unpack what’s really going on behind those chocolate, chip, coffee or wine cravings — and what you can do about them.

WHY CRAVINGS HIT HARD IN PERIMENOPAUSE

1. BLOOD SUGAR CRASHES

Afternoon fatigue isn’t just about being tired. It’s often a biological alarm bell triggered by low blood sugar.

Your body feels safe with your blood glucose above a certain level — the level that makes sure your cells have access to the energy they need to keep functioning.

If your breakfast was non-existent, rushed or just toast, and your lunch was also carb-heavy and light on protein and fats, your blood sugar may have spiked and dropped a few times over. The result? Your brain screams "quick, get energy!" and drives you toward the fastest fuel it knows: sugar, carbs, caffeine.

It’s not weakness. It’s your body trying to keep the lights on.

2. HORMONE FLUCTUATIONS MESS WITH YOUR MOOD + MOTIVATION

In perimenopause, you’re working with less stress resilience than you used to have. Declining progesterone means your brain finds less calm, and more stress.

Fluctuating estrogen levels also affects neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. These two are your brain's feel-good messenger molecules. Dopamine is your short-term happiness compound - involved in motivation, reward, focus and drive — it’s what gets you up and moving, gives you your mojo. Serotonin helps regulate mood, sleep, and feelings of happiness in the long-term.

So when dopamine and serotonin are low, you feel flat, unmotivated, more easily stressed, overwhelmed, snappy or teary. Your brain’s job is to get you back to feeling okay — so it sends you looking for fast hits of dopamine. Sugar. Caffeine. Salty, crunchy chips. Booze.

These foods flood your brain's reward centre with dopamine temporarily.

It’s not all in your head. It’s in your brain chemistry and survival instincts.

3. STRESS + THE MONKEY MIND

The monkey mind is your reactive, emotional brain — the child-like part of your mind that seeks comfort, novelty or escape. The monkey mind is our more primal, reactive part of our brain - your sub-conscious survival system. It often overrides the logical adult brain, especially when you're tired or overstimulated, and in survival mode (fight/flight/freeze/fawn).

We have a certain amount of decision-making capacity each day. By the time 3pm rolls around, most of us have used it up — especially if you’re juggling work, home life, kids, or caregiving. When the tank is empty, it’s much harder to use the adult/logical part of your brain to make decisions that align with your goals.

Instead, the monkey mind kicks in with its old reliable suggestions: chocolate, chips, coffee, wine. And because you've got less stress resilience, you’re running on more of your stress hormones - cortisol and adrenaline - your brain is really seeking dopamine hits to help you feel better fast. It can feel impossible to ignore the cravings at this time.

The more often you reach for these foods in response to discomfort, the more your brain reinforces that pathway. And because of something called dopamine adaptation, you actually need more of the thing over time to get the same relief.

That’s why one chocolate turns into three.

WHY IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE FOOD

1. EMOTIONAL AVOIDANCE & HABIT LOOPS

Sometimes it’s not about hunger at all. It’s about buffering.

You feel frustrated, lonely, unseen, anxious. And without realising it, you reach for something to avoid feeling those emotions (or at least decrease them somewhat). The glass of wine. The chocolate you hide from the kids. The salty crunch that makes everything quiet for a moment.

Your brain has paired those foods with comfort. Over time, it becomes a loop:

Trigger > Craving > Action > Relief > Guilt > Repeat.

The goal isn’t to remove the food. It’s to interrupt the loop.

2. LIVING ON AUTOPILOT

This is especially true for women in their 40s. You’re doing so much — work, home, ageing parents, kids, sport, relationships.

You stop checking in with your body - maybe you’re even actively ignoring its physical needs, like you're some kind of fembot expected to run on nothing but cortisol, chocolate, and caffeine.

Maybe you think you don't have time to eat. Or you might skip meals because you can't keep up with how your body's going to react to what you eat, and you don't want to feel bloated or get stuck in the toilet all day.

You just keep going until… you crash.

Cue the craving.

Autopilot makes it easy for your monkey mind to run the show. But the moment you pause and get curious, you step back into the driver’s seat.

SO WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS?

1. STABILISE BLOOD SUGAR WITH BALANCED MEALS

You knew I was going to say this, right? 😉

Building meals with protein, healthy fats and fibre is one of the simplest ways to buffer your body from the crash-and-crave cycle.

If you’re having toast for brekkie, a handful of crackers at lunch and a coffee on the run in between, your 3pm crash isn’t surprising. Your body’s fuel tank is on empty. And you’re running on fumes.

Start with breakfast. Don’t skimp on lunch. And check out my previous blog on The Perimenopause Diet to keep your blood sugar stable and your energy more even.

2. ADD SWEETNESS TO YOUR LIFE, NOT JUST YOUR SNACKS

A craving is often a cue that something deeper needs tending to. More joy. More movement. More pleasure. More sleep. More support.

You can boost dopamine in other ways too:

• Sunshine or a short walk
• Music that moves you
• A good belly laugh
• Connection with someone who gets you
• Creating something with your hands

Chocolate, other sweet treats, and wine aren’t the only things that can bring you pleasure or joy. It’s just often the most convenient and fast-acting, and so your brain steers you in that direction. I ask my clients to make a joy list that they can draw from, each and every day.

True self-care (which is what adding joy to your day is) is a long-term stress relief tool. So you need to have some in your day, every day, and not just when you're feeling stressed. Joy doesn't need to take up your whole day or budget either!

My favourite joy habit right now? Sitting on the couch with my morning coffee, staring out the window. My other joy items I practise each day are:

• reading a chapter or two of my book each night before sleep
• sitting in the sun while I eat my lunch
• talking with a friend - in person, on the phone, or on text
• having a sauna with my husband (which also means we get to chat and connect at the end of the day).

I encourage my clients to make a joy list and schedule at least one thing from it into their calendar for every single day.

3. INTERRUPT THE PATTERN

Before you reach for the thing, pause.

Ask:

• What am I really needing right now?
• Is it food, or something else?
• Have I eaten enough real food today?
• Am I actually tired, anxious, frustrated or lonely?

Even if you still go ahead and eat the chocolate, that moment of awareness is powerful — and that’s what starts to change the pattern over time. It starts the process of rewiring the craving loop.

YOU DON’T NEED TO WHITE-KNUCKLE YOUR WAY THROUGH THIS

Cravings aren’t a character flaw. They’re a symptom of an overwhelmed system, a message from your body.

You don’t need more willpower.

You need to understand what your body really needs, and how to support it.

Like Michelle, who was tired all the time, struggling with more and more perimenopause symptoms, gaining weight, and constant cravings. She reached out to me to understand why she was feeling like this, and what to do about it. Once she understood why she was feeling the way she was, and how to eat to meet her body's needs, she said she stopped having the cravings.

This is what I teach inside PerimenoGO. You learn how to build meals that nourish and stabilise your biochemistry, understand the hormone changes driving how you feel, and break the patterns that keep you stuck. While you're learn the Guiding Principles and how to create your new normal, you have four-weeks of recipes that gives your body what it needs to feel better — not in 6 months - but in just a few weeks.

If you want to feel calm, comfortable in your body (and clothes), and in control of your cravings — start by watching my free training. Inside, I’ll walk you through the four hormone shifts driving your symptoms, and show you how PerimenoGO helps you fix the food part (without guilt, restriction or guesswork).

Let's change how you feel at 3pm.